My name is Kelly, I’m 22 years old and currently climbing the mountain towards a bachelor’s degree in Special Education at UNT.
But I’m more than just my name, age, and educational background. In Fall of 2010 I started my long road to recovery. I suffer from major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, insomnia, and an eating disorder.
I went to an intensive outpatient treatment program for mental health before being moved to Renfrew in the winter, after the lead therapist told me I required more focused care. Renfrew is one of the leading facilities in the US for eating disorder treatment. I entered their IOP program where I attended three, five hour sessions a week involving group therapy and meals. We also recieved weekly individual and family therapy. I stayed at Renfrew for 5 months.
My eating disorder began when I was 12 years old, I had already had low self esteem, and had tried self-harming a few times, but when a group of older boys at my junior high school started to verbally harass me the self-harm increased and I purged for the first time.
[Trigger warning] My eating disorder was not one to stick around 24/7, I would have periods of a few months where I wouldn’t use symptoms before falling back on them. In 2008 things really escalated with ED and by the time I started at Renfrew I was purging after every meal and only keeping about 200 calories in my system a day as well as abusing laxatives on a weekly basis. I am classified as ED-NOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). I never binged so I wasn’t bulimic, but my BMI didn’t fit the anorexia criteria. We used to always joke that I was ‘blanorexic’ in treatment.
It was during my 5 month stay at ‘Frew that I finally faced all of my demons and opened my very own Pandora’s box. In the months since I’ve left Renfrew I have started looking at and treating life and myself a lot differently. I have been purge-free since December 16, 2010.
I didn’t start this as a recovery blog but that is sort of what it has turned into. My way of putting a little positivity into my life daily but also sharing it with others who may need a little picker upper. It’s my way of showing that recovery is possible so long as you want it.
I am much more than my mental health issues though. I absolutely adore music of all variety’s. I love taking pictures both digital and film. I secretly hope to be a street artist someday. I have a bunny named Patches and a puppy named Molly. I’m obsessed with Harry Potter. I occasionally experiment with drugs although after a rough pill phase during my recovery I now stick to all natural things. I have one of the best friends and roommates that I could ask for. I am in love with a guy that I thought only existed in books. I’m starting to get really good at finding the beauty in life and myself.
So whether it’s an eating disorder, alcoholism, drug abuse, self-harming, or if you’re just going through a rough time I hope you’ll find some solace here and know that you aren’t alone. I am glad to hear from you via message or e-mail, I always liked talking to people and trying to help them, so if you feel like you have no one, know that there is someone willing to listen.